Your Future Self

2-21-12

Lauren,

Hey there.  Ever think about what you'll be like as an adult?  I remember when I was younger I would sit there and think about how I would be as I got older; what I would look like, if I would be pretty, what kind of job I would have, what kind of guy I would marry, if I ever would get married, who my friends would be, etc.  I used to think about all of that.  I remember how people, especially family members, would reassure me that I would be someone awesome.

I don't always feel like someone awesome.  When I would spend that time imagining my future self, I would always picture a super-independent, super-successful, super-fun woman.  That's what I wanted to be.  It's still what I want to be, and it's something I work towards every day.  But you know what's funny?  Things don't always turn out like you want them to.  People can spend years upon years planning for their future, only to have very little of it go the way they want to.  I never thought I would be a twenty-four year old working in retail, still not knowing what I want to be when I "grow up."  I still haven't gotten my grown-up job, or my grown-up house, or even my grown-up family. 

Some days this bothers me.  Here lately, you might hear me call myself a "loser." I don't always mean it, but at twenty-four, I'm not quite where I want to be and so it bothers me.  I am a very ambitious, very stubborn person, and so if I'm not reaching my goals, well then I'm not satisfied with my life.  And this ambition showed in my goals when I was younger, too.  I used to picture myself being a singer or a writer, both of which require a tremendous amount of ambition and dedication.  I strayed from the music part when I realized I was better at writing.  I still write today, but I don't know if I'll ever be that famous writer. 

So what do you think you'll be like as an adult?  Chances are, your vision of your future self will change as you get older.  My vision did, and it's still changing today.  You might be thirteen, but before you know it you'll be eighteen and out of high school, so you might as well start thinking about it now.  I'm not telling you to stress over it; that's not what I want for you at all.  But be a little creative, think about what you want, and you never know, you might just be that person you imagined yourself to be. 

Love,

Meghan