5-24-12
Lauren,
Ahhh. It has been a while since I last wrote for you, almost a month exactly. I am truly sorry for abandoning this during that time, but there are some times in life when you just have to let something sit and breathe for a little bit. Guess I needed to give this a chance to breathe.
It's kind of hard to come up with something "profound" to write about everyday. Especially when every day feels like the last, and life becomes mundane, as mine has seemed to lately. I've found that I'm investing myself in work after being out of it for so long during the winter. I've finally found that energy and motivation again, and it has kick-started itself for sure. What motivates you? And when you get that motivation, how do you channel it?
I've always been very ambitious, an overachiever of sorts, and a control freak in certain areas. When I get ideas, I usually stick to them hardcore, hardly ever letting anyone change my mind. Look at my college career for example; I chose to major in English, and stuck to that all throughout college. Not many people can say they did that (Now whether or not that was a wise choice is a whole other topic). Despite my few hiccups with this, I've pretty much stuck with it since I started it. And now, here I am with three jobs, as crazy as that sounds, but I'm determined to work through it even if it means sacrificing a few things.
I'm going to try to keep writing more. It may not be every day, but I'm still here, and I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Love, Lose, and Love Some More
4-25-12
Lauren,
Hey. I want to talk to you a little about love. Love is a broad topic, so let me narrow it down a bit for you. I'm talking about the sappy, boy-meets-girl, romantic movie kind of love. At 13, you probably don't know much about this kind of love; I know I didn't at your age. But trust me, one day you'll find out.
When you're older and finally have that moment where you're like "Hey, I really LOVE this guy," it'll be one of the best moments in your life (well, usually, unless he doesn't love you back. . .that's a whole other letter topic). I had a moment like this. It happened right at the end of my high school career. You probably know whow I'm talking about, but for his privacy I'll leave him nameless.
Loving someone and being in a relationship can be a great thing. I had a lot of fun times and fond memories with this person. It can also be a great learning experience, too. You learn a lot about yourself as part of a couple, but you learn a lot about yourself as an individual, too.
Of course, with love comes loss. This is almost a given. This is what really sits heavy on my mind today. On what would've been a big milestone, I'm forced to face what I have lost. It's kind of bittersweet because on one hand, it was a great loss, and a terrible one, because that person meant a lot to me. But on the other hand, that loss opened the door for me to discover so many great things about myself as an individual. I hate to say it, but you'll probably figure out what I mean someday. I just hope that if you do, you come out on the other side as a better, stronger person like I did.
So today I'll probably take a little time to remember. But then I'll also take time to remember why it ended, and how that got me to where I am today. I love who I am now, and as they say, until you can love yourself, no one else can.
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Hey. I want to talk to you a little about love. Love is a broad topic, so let me narrow it down a bit for you. I'm talking about the sappy, boy-meets-girl, romantic movie kind of love. At 13, you probably don't know much about this kind of love; I know I didn't at your age. But trust me, one day you'll find out.
When you're older and finally have that moment where you're like "Hey, I really LOVE this guy," it'll be one of the best moments in your life (well, usually, unless he doesn't love you back. . .that's a whole other letter topic). I had a moment like this. It happened right at the end of my high school career. You probably know whow I'm talking about, but for his privacy I'll leave him nameless.
Loving someone and being in a relationship can be a great thing. I had a lot of fun times and fond memories with this person. It can also be a great learning experience, too. You learn a lot about yourself as part of a couple, but you learn a lot about yourself as an individual, too.
Of course, with love comes loss. This is almost a given. This is what really sits heavy on my mind today. On what would've been a big milestone, I'm forced to face what I have lost. It's kind of bittersweet because on one hand, it was a great loss, and a terrible one, because that person meant a lot to me. But on the other hand, that loss opened the door for me to discover so many great things about myself as an individual. I hate to say it, but you'll probably figure out what I mean someday. I just hope that if you do, you come out on the other side as a better, stronger person like I did.
So today I'll probably take a little time to remember. But then I'll also take time to remember why it ended, and how that got me to where I am today. I love who I am now, and as they say, until you can love yourself, no one else can.
Love,
Meghan
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
He-Said, She-Said
4-17-12
Lauren,
Hey. It took me a while, but I am finally back with a new letter. Sometimes you just have to take a break from something before you can get any new ideas and move on with it. That's what I had to do with this. Sometimes the thoughts just come to me, other times I have to sit back and wait for them to show themselves.
Today I come back with an interesting topic, one that you would think would die as you get older. But rest assured, gossip and drama never die, not even with age or maturity. No matter what you do to get rid of it in your life, it will find a way back in. It can be through something someone else said or done, it can be because of how you react to something, it can be because it was fabricated for someone else's gain. Either way, drama never dies. In the past few days, at 24 years old, I've found myself tangled up in something like this. It's not the first time it's happened (I am a girl, and as a girl, it happens a lot). In the past, I might have been the one to start it, unfortunately. But in the past few months I've buried anything or any relationships that had caused me the "need" for drama. It's very peaceful. So how, you might ask, have I found myself in the middle of something lately? He-said, she-said stuff. I'm telling you now, stay away from it. It's no fun.
I think how we react to things, like drama, partially defines who we are as people. It's a thought I've considered greatly over the last few weeks, and care to discuss more in depth at another time. How do you react to drama and gossip? At 13, I know it's got to be prevalent in your everyday life. Learn from me and my friends. Don't spread rumors, don't start stuff, and don't be the bully. It's nothing you should be proud of.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Hey. It took me a while, but I am finally back with a new letter. Sometimes you just have to take a break from something before you can get any new ideas and move on with it. That's what I had to do with this. Sometimes the thoughts just come to me, other times I have to sit back and wait for them to show themselves.
Today I come back with an interesting topic, one that you would think would die as you get older. But rest assured, gossip and drama never die, not even with age or maturity. No matter what you do to get rid of it in your life, it will find a way back in. It can be through something someone else said or done, it can be because of how you react to something, it can be because it was fabricated for someone else's gain. Either way, drama never dies. In the past few days, at 24 years old, I've found myself tangled up in something like this. It's not the first time it's happened (I am a girl, and as a girl, it happens a lot). In the past, I might have been the one to start it, unfortunately. But in the past few months I've buried anything or any relationships that had caused me the "need" for drama. It's very peaceful. So how, you might ask, have I found myself in the middle of something lately? He-said, she-said stuff. I'm telling you now, stay away from it. It's no fun.
I think how we react to things, like drama, partially defines who we are as people. It's a thought I've considered greatly over the last few weeks, and care to discuss more in depth at another time. How do you react to drama and gossip? At 13, I know it's got to be prevalent in your everyday life. Learn from me and my friends. Don't spread rumors, don't start stuff, and don't be the bully. It's nothing you should be proud of.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Solitude
3-31-12
Lauren,
Life can be a little overwhelming sometimes. It's not rare that people get caught up in their everyday routines, and all together forget what it's like to enjoy a little solitude every now and then.
I've found myself enjoying quite a bit of solitude lately despite the hustle and bustle of my everyday life. For me, this is a big accomplishment. It wasn't that long ago that I found myself restless and unable to cope with the quietness of being by myself. Back then, if I even spent one day at home by myself I would find myself searching for some way out of it, contacting any friend I could to find some peace. Here I am today, though. My best friend is out of town, my phone sits silently next to me, and I am able to sit here and write in a quiet house. And I do this all knowing that I have no plans ahead of me for the day. It's kind of a great feeling.
People aren't just overwhelmed by everyday routines, though. They are also swamped with emotions, and those things that cause those emotions. This is the thing I find myself dealing with again. The stresses that come with things like responsibility, health and friendships are all things that I am facing right now. I wouldn't say that I'm exactly struggling, but it I don't deal with these stresses in the right way, I may find myself overwhelmed and consumed by them in the future. Know what I mean?
I hope you are able to enjoy some solitude like I have been able to lately. Every now and then we need a little time alone to remember who we are, and to do those things that, by ourselves, keep us grounded and in the right place.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Life can be a little overwhelming sometimes. It's not rare that people get caught up in their everyday routines, and all together forget what it's like to enjoy a little solitude every now and then.
I've found myself enjoying quite a bit of solitude lately despite the hustle and bustle of my everyday life. For me, this is a big accomplishment. It wasn't that long ago that I found myself restless and unable to cope with the quietness of being by myself. Back then, if I even spent one day at home by myself I would find myself searching for some way out of it, contacting any friend I could to find some peace. Here I am today, though. My best friend is out of town, my phone sits silently next to me, and I am able to sit here and write in a quiet house. And I do this all knowing that I have no plans ahead of me for the day. It's kind of a great feeling.
People aren't just overwhelmed by everyday routines, though. They are also swamped with emotions, and those things that cause those emotions. This is the thing I find myself dealing with again. The stresses that come with things like responsibility, health and friendships are all things that I am facing right now. I wouldn't say that I'm exactly struggling, but it I don't deal with these stresses in the right way, I may find myself overwhelmed and consumed by them in the future. Know what I mean?
I hope you are able to enjoy some solitude like I have been able to lately. Every now and then we need a little time alone to remember who we are, and to do those things that, by ourselves, keep us grounded and in the right place.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Saturday, March 31, 2012
What Went Wrong?
3-31-12
Lauren,
Pre-warning you now: this letter is a little "deep," so bear with me.
Sometimes I look at you and Chrysta and wonder what went "wrong" with me. Let me explain. Chrysta, although she's not always had the greatest relationship with Mom, is fully capable and willing to tell our parents and other family members that she loves them, or can even give them a hug with no second thoughts. Then there is you, the "baby" of us three girls. You're the same way as Chrysta, and still have a strong relationship with and a deep affection for our parents. You have no problem telling us that you miss us, and still say "Mommy" and "Daddy," both of which have a loving and affectionate connotation to them.
And then there is me. Meghan, the oldest child. The one who has a problem saying "I love you" to family members, the one who feels weird hugging her parents, and the one who cringes when her parents call her a name like "honey" or "sweetie." That's what I mean by what went wrong with me. It's like I lack that fundamental gene that is needed to express positive emotion to someone in my family.
Besides the things I've already mentioned, there are other things that are strange to me, too. I think I've mentioned it before, but I can't buy a serious card. I just can't. And I've often had this thought: If I ever get married, the idea of the father-daughter dance just weirds me out. Let's not ignore the fact that I haven't said "I love you" to Mom or Dad in years probably. Or the fact that any positive attention, or negative attention for that matter, from anyone usually makes me want to hide in a corner. So again I ask, what went wrong?
The only time I felt comfortable saying "I love you" or randomly hugging someone was in The Long-Term Relationship (this is its new moniker). And then that ended. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be able to do something like that again, either. Pretty much the only person left that I can show affection towards is Megan, and she's my best friend. . .
So I don't know. . .this is something I've often pondered, and so I thought I'd share it with you. I hope you never get to this place. It makes for a lot of uncomfortable, awkward moments. I am working on it, though, so I guess that's all that matters. I love you!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Pre-warning you now: this letter is a little "deep," so bear with me.
Sometimes I look at you and Chrysta and wonder what went "wrong" with me. Let me explain. Chrysta, although she's not always had the greatest relationship with Mom, is fully capable and willing to tell our parents and other family members that she loves them, or can even give them a hug with no second thoughts. Then there is you, the "baby" of us three girls. You're the same way as Chrysta, and still have a strong relationship with and a deep affection for our parents. You have no problem telling us that you miss us, and still say "Mommy" and "Daddy," both of which have a loving and affectionate connotation to them.
And then there is me. Meghan, the oldest child. The one who has a problem saying "I love you" to family members, the one who feels weird hugging her parents, and the one who cringes when her parents call her a name like "honey" or "sweetie." That's what I mean by what went wrong with me. It's like I lack that fundamental gene that is needed to express positive emotion to someone in my family.
Besides the things I've already mentioned, there are other things that are strange to me, too. I think I've mentioned it before, but I can't buy a serious card. I just can't. And I've often had this thought: If I ever get married, the idea of the father-daughter dance just weirds me out. Let's not ignore the fact that I haven't said "I love you" to Mom or Dad in years probably. Or the fact that any positive attention, or negative attention for that matter, from anyone usually makes me want to hide in a corner. So again I ask, what went wrong?
The only time I felt comfortable saying "I love you" or randomly hugging someone was in The Long-Term Relationship (this is its new moniker). And then that ended. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be able to do something like that again, either. Pretty much the only person left that I can show affection towards is Megan, and she's my best friend. . .
So I don't know. . .this is something I've often pondered, and so I thought I'd share it with you. I hope you never get to this place. It makes for a lot of uncomfortable, awkward moments. I am working on it, though, so I guess that's all that matters. I love you!
Love,
Meghan
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Back to the Past
3-27-12
Lauren,
Ever hear someone say something like "Things were so much easier when we were kids," or "I wish I was in high school still when I didn't have to worry about adult stuff?" It's true, those times were a lot easier in so many ways. There were no bills, no pressures about getting married and having kids, and no stresses about where to live.
Yes, those times were nice, but sometimes people spend so much time and energy living in the past that they don't get to live in today. You're probably wondering why I'm talking about this. I found a quote by Audrey Hepburn today that I really liked, and it got me thinking about all of this. It says:
Lauren,
Ever hear someone say something like "Things were so much easier when we were kids," or "I wish I was in high school still when I didn't have to worry about adult stuff?" It's true, those times were a lot easier in so many ways. There were no bills, no pressures about getting married and having kids, and no stresses about where to live.
Me as a toddler with no worries!
Yes, those times were nice, but sometimes people spend so much time and energy living in the past that they don't get to live in today. You're probably wondering why I'm talking about this. I found a quote by Audrey Hepburn today that I really liked, and it got me thinking about all of this. It says:
"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering- because you can't take it in all at once." - Audrey Hepburn
It would be nice to live a fun-filled life where all I worried about was homework, but at the same time I have experienced so much and learned many things as an adult. As Audrey Hepburn talks about, living is about trying new things, making mistakes, and creating new memories. You look back on those memories, learn from them, and move on to make new memories.
Lauren, you're at a very important point in your life right now, and what you're going through is an experience that you will probably never forget. Learn from it, but don't dwell on it. If I were to dwell on all the bad things I've been through, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Learn from it, become a stronger person, and then move on to the next new memory.
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Monday, March 26, 2012
I'm an Older Sister?
3-26-12
Lauren,
It's the weirdest thing, but I'm just now starting to feel like an oldest sister. I don't know why it took me 23 years to finally feel that way. . .maybe it's your age, or the fact that Chrysta is engaged and has a kid. Either way, it's a strange yet refreshing feeling.
I think it kind of hit me the other day when I asked you about your best friend. When you told me it's a boy and that he's 15 I was like "Whaaaat?!" I guess that instinctive older sibling protective vibe kicked in and I actually noticed it. It made me feel old. My little sister, who is ten years younger than me, is old enough to make me worry about her and boys. . .I am old!
But all jokes aside, it is a weird thing being an older sibling. As I think I told you before, I never really cared about being the oldest, or really ever gave it any thought until now. Now that you're old enough to start making some big decisions I am going to worry about whether or not you'll make the right choices. I'm going to worry about how I influence you. But, you are a good kid, and if you're anything like your older sisters, you'll be fine. :)
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
It's the weirdest thing, but I'm just now starting to feel like an oldest sister. I don't know why it took me 23 years to finally feel that way. . .maybe it's your age, or the fact that Chrysta is engaged and has a kid. Either way, it's a strange yet refreshing feeling.
I think it kind of hit me the other day when I asked you about your best friend. When you told me it's a boy and that he's 15 I was like "Whaaaat?!" I guess that instinctive older sibling protective vibe kicked in and I actually noticed it. It made me feel old. My little sister, who is ten years younger than me, is old enough to make me worry about her and boys. . .I am old!
But all jokes aside, it is a weird thing being an older sibling. As I think I told you before, I never really cared about being the oldest, or really ever gave it any thought until now. Now that you're old enough to start making some big decisions I am going to worry about whether or not you'll make the right choices. I'm going to worry about how I influence you. But, you are a good kid, and if you're anything like your older sisters, you'll be fine. :)
Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
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