3-19-12
Lauren,
Hey. You probably noticed, but I'm still pacing myself a bit here lately with these. During my little break from writing letters, though, I have been taking some time to think about stuff, and to find both the good and bad in every day. So let's talk about one of the good and bad things from this past weekend. . .
Saturday night I lost my voice. Gone. Out of nowhere, too. The only way I could talk was to whisper, or to take the time to text whatever I was trying to say. It was annoying. If you know me well enough, you know that I love to sing. I like to talk, too, but singing is something I have to do pretty much every day, and if I can't, well I'm one sad Meghan. And so, there I was. . .St. Patrick's Day weekend, no voice, and I couldn't sing. So sad :(
I am me, though, and somehow I still manage to find humor in everything, even the sad things. So of course, between my friends and I, we definitely found some humor in my lack of voice. Walking into Walmart yesterday with Megan and Emily, I found myself trying to laugh. Between the laughing making it worse, and the fact that my vocal chords were all out of whack, I ended up sounding like one of the Chipmunks while I was laughing. And of course, this led to more laughing. The cycle was endless.
This is something I've been trying to do lately: finding even the smallest good in the biggest of bads. If I couldn't and didn't, I'm not quite sure where I'd be right now. Things have been rough lately, as you can tell through my lack of letters, but I push on. Hope you're doing okay. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A Bit of a Let Down
3-15-12
Lauren,
Hey. I was going to give myself a few more days away from this to think about things to write, but then you called me today and I needed to vent somewhere, so why not vent on here. First, you did nothing wrong by calling me. I just feel bad because I haven't been able to come to the visits lately, and because I can't come this Saturday to have dinner with you. I know you probably already feel let down so much, and now I'm letting you down more by not being able to see you. I know I'll get to make it up to you in the near future, but at the same time it just sucks that I can't be there on the one day that you ask me to be.
I feel like a bit of a let down in other ways here lately, too. I feel like a let down to my roommates because I haven't been able to pay rent on time from where I was out of work after surgery. I feel like a let down to my friends because every time they ask me to go out somewhere with them, I have to say no because I need to save up. I feel like a let down to myself because I still haven't started grad school searching, even though I told myself I would have one picked by February. Things have definitely been a little rough on me lately, and strong as I am, there are times when they finally catch up to me and it all just spills out. I'm sure everyone has moments like this. It would be unusual and not human to never feel sad, disappointed, angry, etc. . .having emotions is part of being human. But it's knowing how to deal with them and how to learn from them that makes the difference.
I will definitely see you soon. I know our situation is not ideal. And I know I can't always be the big sister I'm suppose to be. But hopefully that will change one day soon. Love you. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Hey. I was going to give myself a few more days away from this to think about things to write, but then you called me today and I needed to vent somewhere, so why not vent on here. First, you did nothing wrong by calling me. I just feel bad because I haven't been able to come to the visits lately, and because I can't come this Saturday to have dinner with you. I know you probably already feel let down so much, and now I'm letting you down more by not being able to see you. I know I'll get to make it up to you in the near future, but at the same time it just sucks that I can't be there on the one day that you ask me to be.
I feel like a bit of a let down in other ways here lately, too. I feel like a let down to my roommates because I haven't been able to pay rent on time from where I was out of work after surgery. I feel like a let down to my friends because every time they ask me to go out somewhere with them, I have to say no because I need to save up. I feel like a let down to myself because I still haven't started grad school searching, even though I told myself I would have one picked by February. Things have definitely been a little rough on me lately, and strong as I am, there are times when they finally catch up to me and it all just spills out. I'm sure everyone has moments like this. It would be unusual and not human to never feel sad, disappointed, angry, etc. . .having emotions is part of being human. But it's knowing how to deal with them and how to learn from them that makes the difference.
I will definitely see you soon. I know our situation is not ideal. And I know I can't always be the big sister I'm suppose to be. But hopefully that will change one day soon. Love you. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Unsure
3-11-12
Lauren,
Hello. I'm not sure if you've noticed lately, but I'm slacking a bit in the letter department. I think I have an explanation for this, or at least a better understanding of why I haven't been able to write much lately. One, I just don't know what to write anymore. It's not that I'm running out of ideas. I just don't feel like I have going anything in my life lately that is really worth writing about.
I would say life has felt a bit "empty" lately, for a lack of a better word. I'm finally back to work, which is awesome, but everything else seems to be changing. More and more often lately I find myself wondering about the things that used to be so solid for me. One major thing is my friends. This is one of the hardest parts about growing up. People change, and so your friends change. My friends that I have had for years all of sudden feel very distant to me, and I find myself turning to newer friends for the stuff I would normally go to my BFFs for. This definitely bothers me. I'm trying to accept the change, but that is never easy.
Thank goodness I'm still sure of myself. That is about the only thing I can be sure of these days. Jobs change, friends change, guys come and go, but I know who I am and so hopefully, as long as I work at it, I won't ever lose that. I'll try my best to find worthwhile things to write to you about. I try to look for the good and bad to tell you about, but sometimes it's just easier to focus on the bad because when it's there, it's usually screaming in your face.
Keep your head up! I know I'm trying to keep mine up, too.
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Hello. I'm not sure if you've noticed lately, but I'm slacking a bit in the letter department. I think I have an explanation for this, or at least a better understanding of why I haven't been able to write much lately. One, I just don't know what to write anymore. It's not that I'm running out of ideas. I just don't feel like I have going anything in my life lately that is really worth writing about.
I would say life has felt a bit "empty" lately, for a lack of a better word. I'm finally back to work, which is awesome, but everything else seems to be changing. More and more often lately I find myself wondering about the things that used to be so solid for me. One major thing is my friends. This is one of the hardest parts about growing up. People change, and so your friends change. My friends that I have had for years all of sudden feel very distant to me, and I find myself turning to newer friends for the stuff I would normally go to my BFFs for. This definitely bothers me. I'm trying to accept the change, but that is never easy.
Thank goodness I'm still sure of myself. That is about the only thing I can be sure of these days. Jobs change, friends change, guys come and go, but I know who I am and so hopefully, as long as I work at it, I won't ever lose that. I'll try my best to find worthwhile things to write to you about. I try to look for the good and bad to tell you about, but sometimes it's just easier to focus on the bad because when it's there, it's usually screaming in your face.
Keep your head up! I know I'm trying to keep mine up, too.
Love,
Meghan
Saturday, March 10, 2012
I'm a Stubborn Girl
3-10-12
Lauren,
I am one stubborn person. Add to that the fact that I am also very determined and ambitious, and well, I can do some serious business if I really put my mind to something. Depending on what my motive is at the time, the outcome can be something great. Or, it can simply be something silly, like buying something that I've been wanting for some time.
Here lately, I've been pretty stubborn and pretty determined when it comes to a couple of things. One, I've recently convinced myself that I'll be getting a new piercing and, gasp, a tattoo somewhere in the near future. I've always been the one to say that I never want a tattoo because I'm too chicken and it would hurt, but here lately I find myself wanting one more and more. The more I think about it, the more I'm determined to do it, painful or not. When I first said I wanted my tongue pierced I told myself I would never get it done because it would hurt. But then one day this past summer I was sitting at Jamie and Kenny's house in North Carolina and I was like "You know, I really want to get my tongue pierced." I kept saying it over and over again, and I ended up getting it done later that day. I've been doing the same thing lately with the tattoo. The more I think about it, the more I want to get it done.
I'm also being stubborn lately when it comes to a certain person. This person drives me crazy, and now I'm telling myself I'm going to ignore them for a while. I think that's all I'll say about this for now. . .I'm sure there will be more to come later. This is when being stubborn is silly. But hey, it is me, so what can I say. . .
Either way, I don't think being stubborn/determined/ambitious is necessarily a bad thing. It helps me to get things done. This is not to say I'm always this way. There are days when I'm the complete opposite and don't feel like doing anything. But it's a good feeling to know that I can do whatever I put my mind to. I hope you can say the same!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
I am one stubborn person. Add to that the fact that I am also very determined and ambitious, and well, I can do some serious business if I really put my mind to something. Depending on what my motive is at the time, the outcome can be something great. Or, it can simply be something silly, like buying something that I've been wanting for some time.
Here lately, I've been pretty stubborn and pretty determined when it comes to a couple of things. One, I've recently convinced myself that I'll be getting a new piercing and, gasp, a tattoo somewhere in the near future. I've always been the one to say that I never want a tattoo because I'm too chicken and it would hurt, but here lately I find myself wanting one more and more. The more I think about it, the more I'm determined to do it, painful or not. When I first said I wanted my tongue pierced I told myself I would never get it done because it would hurt. But then one day this past summer I was sitting at Jamie and Kenny's house in North Carolina and I was like "You know, I really want to get my tongue pierced." I kept saying it over and over again, and I ended up getting it done later that day. I've been doing the same thing lately with the tattoo. The more I think about it, the more I want to get it done.
I'm also being stubborn lately when it comes to a certain person. This person drives me crazy, and now I'm telling myself I'm going to ignore them for a while. I think that's all I'll say about this for now. . .I'm sure there will be more to come later. This is when being stubborn is silly. But hey, it is me, so what can I say. . .
Either way, I don't think being stubborn/determined/ambitious is necessarily a bad thing. It helps me to get things done. This is not to say I'm always this way. There are days when I'm the complete opposite and don't feel like doing anything. But it's a good feeling to know that I can do whatever I put my mind to. I hope you can say the same!
Love,
Meghan
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Pinterest= Addicting
3-7-12
Lauren,
So I have a confession: I'm a bit obsessed with Pinterest. I don't know if you've heard of it, or if you have ever been on there to see what it's all about, but it's pretty neat. For someone like me who is obsessed with baking, shopping, hair and makeup, it can be just a tad bit addicting.
You should have seen Megan and I tonight; we were both sitting here, eyes glued on our computers as we scrolled through pictures upon pictures of dresses, cupcakes, and any other eye candy we could find. It really makes me want to go shopping, too. This is a problem, though, because I don't have any money. No money= no shopping. There are days when I really, really want a new dress, but I can't get one. And so what do I do? I make a new outfit out of clothes I already have. I don't know how many times here lately I've texted Megan to tell her that I have a new outfit and I didn't even go shopping. Pinterest might fuel my passion for a new wardrobe, and it might test my willpower to save my money, but it also gets my creative juices flowing, and that's always a good feeling :)
I hope you're having a good week! Keep your head up girlie.
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
So I have a confession: I'm a bit obsessed with Pinterest. I don't know if you've heard of it, or if you have ever been on there to see what it's all about, but it's pretty neat. For someone like me who is obsessed with baking, shopping, hair and makeup, it can be just a tad bit addicting.
You should have seen Megan and I tonight; we were both sitting here, eyes glued on our computers as we scrolled through pictures upon pictures of dresses, cupcakes, and any other eye candy we could find. It really makes me want to go shopping, too. This is a problem, though, because I don't have any money. No money= no shopping. There are days when I really, really want a new dress, but I can't get one. And so what do I do? I make a new outfit out of clothes I already have. I don't know how many times here lately I've texted Megan to tell her that I have a new outfit and I didn't even go shopping. Pinterest might fuel my passion for a new wardrobe, and it might test my willpower to save my money, but it also gets my creative juices flowing, and that's always a good feeling :)
I hope you're having a good week! Keep your head up girlie.
Love,
Meghan
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
It's Been A While
3-6-12
Lauren,
Hello. It's been a few days since I last wrote, and I really have no excuse other than that I don't really know what to write lately. It kind of bumming me out, too, because my goal was to do this every day, and yet here I am four days later with a new letter.
I feel like there is a fog around my thoughts lately. I'm not sure why, but I can never seem to quite fully get a grasp on what I'm thinking and feeling. Maybe this is because things have been so up in the air lately. I really don't feel like I have a grasp on my life right now, especially after being out of my one job for a month with the surgery and all. Things have felt a little strange with my friends; they've all seemed pretty distant. Another reason why I might not be able to write is because I'm not writing, if that makes any sense. I have so many thoughts going through my head and instead of getting them out into writing, I'm hoarding them in my brain. Probably not a good idea.
The only things that haven't changed as of lately are my determination to exercise as much as possible, and my constant need to dance. I am doing pretty good with the exercising. This week is getting a little busy, so I might not be able to go out and walk/run as much as I have been, but I'm still going to do it when I can. As far as dancing goes, well I dance whenever and wherever I can (I'm sitting in my chair bouncing around and dancing as I type this). I dance while doing the dishes, alone in my room, when I go out with my friends, in my car. . .you get the idea.
I hope things are going okay for you. Wish I could see you more. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Lauren,
Hello. It's been a few days since I last wrote, and I really have no excuse other than that I don't really know what to write lately. It kind of bumming me out, too, because my goal was to do this every day, and yet here I am four days later with a new letter.
I feel like there is a fog around my thoughts lately. I'm not sure why, but I can never seem to quite fully get a grasp on what I'm thinking and feeling. Maybe this is because things have been so up in the air lately. I really don't feel like I have a grasp on my life right now, especially after being out of my one job for a month with the surgery and all. Things have felt a little strange with my friends; they've all seemed pretty distant. Another reason why I might not be able to write is because I'm not writing, if that makes any sense. I have so many thoughts going through my head and instead of getting them out into writing, I'm hoarding them in my brain. Probably not a good idea.
The only things that haven't changed as of lately are my determination to exercise as much as possible, and my constant need to dance. I am doing pretty good with the exercising. This week is getting a little busy, so I might not be able to go out and walk/run as much as I have been, but I'm still going to do it when I can. As far as dancing goes, well I dance whenever and wherever I can (I'm sitting in my chair bouncing around and dancing as I type this). I dance while doing the dishes, alone in my room, when I go out with my friends, in my car. . .you get the idea.
I hope things are going okay for you. Wish I could see you more. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
Friday, March 2, 2012
Random Would Be the Right Word
3-2-12
Lauren,
Hey there. I know, I know. It's been a few days since I last wrote. I have an explanation for that. See, with all this nothingness going on around me lately, I don't feel like I have too much to write about. And everything I could write about, well it all seems very trivial. For instance, I dyed my hair again yesterday. Not too much knowledge that you can pull from that, right? Right. I did learn that if dye is kind of burning your scalp and bleaching your fingers that you might have gotten something a little strong, but that's beside the point.
I haven't had too many experiences that I could really learn from as of lately. I've been dealing with a lot of the trials that come with being single (I know, sooo difficult right?), but they're starting to repeat themselves so I'm not really learning much from it. In fact, being single is really starting to confuse me a bit. When someone tells you to call them, and you don't call or text them for four days, why do they feel the need to call you? They should get the hint. Same goes when you tell someone that you're probably going to end up hurting them. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to save these guys some heartache and headaches. I really don't get it.
Another thing I haven't been getting much of lately: hours at work. It's been a month since I had surgery, but I wasn't able to work for a while, and so hours at work have been scarce for me lately. I finally get to go back to my one job this week, though, so I'm pretty excited about that. And I got a call yesterday saying that I might be able to pick up even more hours than I had originally thought, so I'm pretty excited.
If I wasn't the positive person I am, all this nothingness would probably put me in a bad mood as of lately. Thank goodness I'm able to notice the small things that make me happy and make me smile. I put a quote on my Facebook lately that kind of reminded me of the whole thing. It's one of my favorites. It says:
Lauren,
Hey there. I know, I know. It's been a few days since I last wrote. I have an explanation for that. See, with all this nothingness going on around me lately, I don't feel like I have too much to write about. And everything I could write about, well it all seems very trivial. For instance, I dyed my hair again yesterday. Not too much knowledge that you can pull from that, right? Right. I did learn that if dye is kind of burning your scalp and bleaching your fingers that you might have gotten something a little strong, but that's beside the point.
I haven't had too many experiences that I could really learn from as of lately. I've been dealing with a lot of the trials that come with being single (I know, sooo difficult right?), but they're starting to repeat themselves so I'm not really learning much from it. In fact, being single is really starting to confuse me a bit. When someone tells you to call them, and you don't call or text them for four days, why do they feel the need to call you? They should get the hint. Same goes when you tell someone that you're probably going to end up hurting them. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to save these guys some heartache and headaches. I really don't get it.
Another thing I haven't been getting much of lately: hours at work. It's been a month since I had surgery, but I wasn't able to work for a while, and so hours at work have been scarce for me lately. I finally get to go back to my one job this week, though, so I'm pretty excited about that. And I got a call yesterday saying that I might be able to pick up even more hours than I had originally thought, so I'm pretty excited.
If I wasn't the positive person I am, all this nothingness would probably put me in a bad mood as of lately. Thank goodness I'm able to notice the small things that make me happy and make me smile. I put a quote on my Facebook lately that kind of reminded me of the whole thing. It's one of my favorites. It says:
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Everyone has down times, crappy times, sad times, but there are some of us that choose to look up and focus on the positive and more beautiful things that happen with each day. Hopefully you can learn to do this one day. Keep your head up!
Love,
Meghan
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