Today I decided to turn these letters into a blog. This isn't the first time I've tried a blog; I had two others before this. The two I had before I started with the wrong intentions. Fame, money, an outlet...all normal motivations for any writer. But this time is a little different; this time I want to reach people.
I started writing you these letters because I don't get to see you much with the whole foster care thing. Maybe by putting these letters on the internet I can reach other girls in foster care who may need some guidance.
There's on major challenge for myself, though, in doing this. I have to be candid and not afraid of what other people may think. For me to ever pass any of my own personal "wisdom" on to you or anyone else, I have to be completely honest with myself and my audience.
Sometimes it is scary to really show yourself 100%, and to let everyone see who you really are. It is this fear of not pleasing someone else that has kept me from being my complete self in the past. After going through everything I did with Kyle*, hearing everything my own grandparents have said about me, and going through counseling, I'm finally getting better at not worrying about those other people.
Hopefully I can be courageous enough to see this out. I know you think I'm a strong woman, but even I struggle and have to fight to accomplish things.
*Name has been changed